In 2009 I would never have thought that an role playing session with a friend would turn into a BDSM learning experience which catapulted me into a whole new world. Now granted, before this time I was not new to exploring other options sexually, nor was I new to the lifestyle of being submissive as my mother was very Dominant and had her things the way she liked them and I was to do as I was told, or else. But this, was different. Or rather, is different. Instead of fearing the repercussions if I did not do something as I was expected to, I hungered to do as I was told and took pride in it. How odd it was to have to put myself in a corner and take a picture of myself there in order to prove to my online Dominant that I had done as I was told. I quickly moved on from online into finding someone who was local and we all get excited and rush into things before really figuring out what we are doing.. okay.. maybe not all.. but I definitely did.

Don’t get me wrong. C is a great Dominant, as long as it is for someone else. During this time, my husband didn’t quite know what to think of the whole BDSM thing. He is a old fashioned country boy from Idaho who was taught that you never hit a girl, and especially not your wife…. and yet, I really wanted him to.. not in the pin me down and punch the living shit out of me type of way mind you, but with flogging, scratching, drumming.. as I had been learning about through the websites that I was now so hungry to find any information possible on this new way of life. One thing that I am very lucky for is that my husband has always been supportive of me through this journey. He has always been my Daddy.

We started going to munches in our area and met some people within the kink community, and in fact became close to a couple that soon became our roommates. I will call them L and T. Through them we met others and started going to a dungeon in Eugene which was a first for us. We mostly enjoyed watching, but it was also at this dungeon that I had my first taste of fire play and I was hooked. I had always been a bit of a pyromaniac, but in a controlled way :) , and this was an incredible outlet for my addiction to fire. Later on I was introduced to another fire Dom which I will call F. But that, as I mentioned, comes later.

Our two story three bedroom townhouse soon became a kink house. We had small parties where we experimented with breath play, scratching, and sometimes flogging. Bondage was also introduced.

I had been without a Dominant for a couple months when I saw D, my Master and lover at a munch. Not long after I grew confident enough to message him on Fetlife and we began chatting back and forth, then met for coffee one night. That night we both knew that we were meant to be together. It wasn’t long before I was going over to his house on Friday nights. I was so nervous.. I remember the first night that I was there and stripped for him. I was so insecure about my body due to past abuse ( Not from my husband, but previous husband and mother. Both very shallow and big time into image, which I did not fit into their standards. Anyhow, I digress.) From this night on, I knew I was on a very different journey. I loved, and love a man that is not my husband, which was very strange to me, but thanks to my incredible husband who reassured me that my feelings are not bad and that again, he fully supported us, I submitted to D.

One thing that most people that met us, as in my husband and I, askĀ  is.. why is your husband not your Dominant? Well, I am submissive to my husband in many ways, but for us, we didn’t start out this way. I was the one running the house, the bills, and for many years we had to struggle to rebuild his confidence due to the abuse from his mother. So when we began exploring this lifestyle, I didn’t feel that type of Dominance from him. Now, the Dominance is just different and both He and my Master have their places in my life just as I do for them.

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