The week before school starts is always hard as is recovering from the holidays. My mind is focused upon my D/s and family schedules, bills, activities, Submission in Motion, and now school. This is my third term and I am taking four classes this time. Another anthropology class, Intermediate Algebra ( Math is not my strong point. ), a Computer Applications class, and a Photoshop class.  I am looking forward to them, but I am also stressed as home life, not even with my husband or my Master is complicated.

Today I have been rather fatigued. I am sure I am fighting the attempts to getting a cold. I took a bath this morn then went on with my day and was completely exhausted by 1.

At 3:20 my roommate checked the mail and I received a letter from my step dad and his wife with a printed copy of an email from my cousin’s husband who is an Oregon State Trooper and he had looked up my son’s information and found him in Riverside Ca. A phone number was provided. I sat in the recliner and shook. Fear, excitement, shock, disbelief.. are just some of the beginning emotions that I am feeling. I got myself well enough under control emotionally that I was able to call the number on the email. The number went to a “Children’s Therapeutic Community”  which evidently manages foster homes that help children with disturbed pasts. Seeing that alone was hard.. as this means that he was put into a foster home…. I talked to the lady there who then referred me to another lady who from my understanding was his case manager. When I called, she was a parole officer. My mind is running rampant and I am being questioned as to who I am.. how many ways can a person say, I am his mother.. But, I do understand that I have never been mentioned before, and how would she know who I am. I answer a few of her questions and then get told that she needs to find out what she is able to tell me and do as far as letting me talk to him. So now I am again at the whims of someone else who has control of whether or not I can talk with my son. But, at least there is a chance. So I wait for the return phone call.

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