This has been an incredible, interesting, as well as hard week.

The hard part was that my husband/Daddy felt that after three years of struggling to understand and retrain S, she has failed to meet his expectations and as of today has been released. Having her kneeling in front of us bawling as he took off her leather temporary collar, begging to be forgiven was really hard to deal with as I could feel her pain. I know this was the right thing for him to do as he was only becoming more and more resentful of their misunderstood relationship which began causing problems with our own relationship due to me trying to mediate as well as being the outlet for him to express his frustration. I think, had his relief method been more constructive, then I could have handled things a little differently, but even so. If a person isn’t compatible with another, the worst thing to do is try to force it, or fake it. Therefore this was the best decision.

Due to this situation, we got put into another situation of.. what to do now. As she is a part of the family. She needs guidance, and the three children attached to her are now also our kids and that is something that we don’t want to change. Not only because we have fallen in love with them, but also because we have taken them from a non constructive situation, to one that is now stable and constructive. In short, we will not hurt them. So, being that I have been doing it anyhow, I will continue to be her guidance. One day at a time.

The incredible and interesting thing is that I have been talking to my son either everyday or every other day and it has been amazing. At first I was really nervous about being open with how I live, but after talking to him and expressing that I don’t want there to be anything that is kept between us, a whole new world has opened up. I even had the BDSM discussion with him. That was awkward, but I didn’t want to shock him when he comes to visit. He has a natural Dominant tendency already and I rather guide him towards appropriate education than watch him flounder. He is a rather cocky cuss, but a part of me wonders if that is him puffing up in order to impress as a way to keep from being rejected. I will never reject him, or Kaitlyn. You love your children regardless of what they do, even if they fuck up, which happens. I sent him a phone which is on our account so that he will be able to call or text me anytime once he is out of the group home. I admit, I still have fears that his dad will do something to his phone when he goes to visit. But I hope not. My son says that he has changed a lot, and I do really hope so. I have moved on from that part of my life and I do hope the best for him.  Anyhow, he is really excited about coming to visit, and so are we. There are many people who have been waiting years to see him. I think we will throw him a party when he gets here.

I have been struggling with my own submission lately as more often than not, it seems like I have so many responsibilities to keep up with that I don’t have time to give that extra mile to Daddy and Master. But I came to realize today while going over things with S, that I can make time, as I do take pride in my submission. I know that there is so much to learn and I really do want to delve into that education so that I can be of better service as their submissive, and lovers. I love them both dearly and do not ever see my life without them. Both are very different and I love everything about them, even when they are being moody. I am grateful for every moment that I have with them. So I am glad for this awakening.

Until tomorrow. Goodnight from lil girl.

 

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